After years of unhappiness, you've finally had enough and have decided to quit! However, we're not talking about your job. Write a letter of resignati

Dear Fridigar Elite,
I can't stand the strain you are putting on my marriage. Every time I close your stained cream doors, you pop open (ever so slightly). I swear I push you in, but you keeping popping open again and again and again and again and again. Somehow, you never pop open for Shawn. He opens your tiny door to fill his ice trays; he slides the ice trays back, and shuts your doors. Magically, you stay shut! I open the door on the refrigerator side, and after I've left the kitchen, pop, the freezer opens. Next thing I know, Shawn is screaming at me from the kitchen accusing me of not shutting the freezer door. I tell him that I never opened the freezer. He doesn't believe me. He'd rather take your side. Your ugly old stained leaking creaking melting side. Despite your funky odor, worn out rubber, rusty trays, and frozen meat drawer, he always listens to what you have to say. Well, I'm sick of you. I'm sick of the chaos. I sick of the shouting matches. I have two choices: divorce or fifteen percent off all appliances at Sears. You or free standard delivery on a beautiful, KitchAid Fridge with Stainless Steel KitchenAid 22.6 cu. ft. and Bottom Freezer Refrigerator. Not only will I not have to get divorced, but they will haul you away for free!
Have fun popping open at the dump!